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Select Service Partner, if you’ve not heard of them, operate a lot of the food outlets you see at airports and the like. They seem to be really rather a large organisation, and get away from a direct brand recognition by marketing their services rather anonymously, or under the auspices of more recognisable brands such as Delice de France.

Recently on a trip to London, we had the misfortune to buy a meal from them. It was awful, and I duly complained, taking advantage of what they described as a “Money Back Guarantee” that they boldly advertised on all of their tables. Some weeks later, just as I had given up hope of receiving a response (and planning a complaint questioning their guarantee, possibly involving the trading standards), I received a letter from the PA of Simon Turl, the managing director. It read:

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to inform us of the problems encountered at Luton Airport. The issues you raise will be looked into immediately and Mr Turl, Managing Director, will respond to you within the next seven working days.

My mathematics may not be the best, but a letter dated the 20th April means that 29th April was the seventh working day, and today is actually the eleventh. So I’m beginning to doubt the veracity of the promises made by Select Service Partners.

Since lodging my complaint with them, I had the misfortune of flying out from Prestwick airport and making the silly mistake of buying a sandwich from them there. Whilst we were sat in the no-smoking section, the tables adjacent to us had ash-trays. There seemed to be some unpublished demarkation zone there. Not only that, but the sandwich I purchased (which was, I have to say, quite nice) was advertised at £3.20p. However the receipt I received added VAT on it. It’s not necessarily common knowledge, but VAT is added when you “eat in” by such places, but - and here’s the kicker - I wasn’t asked. In fact, I apologised for not having a tray to the assistant which surely indicates I wouldn’t be eating in. As it happens I was, but I would have rather they asked before charging me an extra 56p for that particular sandwich. I would rather have taken it through and eaten it on the plane, given what else we purchased.

I can’t help but anticipate what Mr Turl will say when he eventually writes to me. He will, I’ll make damn sure of that. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt (the postal service here is truly awful) and allow another few days before writing again to enquire as to his promises. Certainly I’ve serious cause for concern that they can’t follow through on their promises, either the money back “guarantee” or writing a simple letter enclosing a cheque.