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I received my March issue of Runners World in the post the other day, and I have to say I’m beginning to find the covers something of a joke. It’s almost always an absurdly fit looking person, smiling in the perfect-teeth sort of way only an American can manage, with a lovely backdrop and no visible sign of sweat or exertion. Usually in a one foot raised ‘look mom I’m running’ kind of way.

It’s all a little tiresome really. I don’t actually think I’ve seen such creatures in the short time I’ve been involved in the running community. It’s also something that comes up on the forums occasionally, challenging whether they’re “real runners” or “just models”. My votes with the latter. Because Runners World is an international publication with localised editions, it seems strange they only seem to use what appear to be American front covers, especially given the heavily localised content inside. The dirt tracks and scenery certainly don’t look like anything I’ve ever seen in all my years in this country, runner or not.

Ah, a spot of Googling reveals Runners world customer service get this a lot:

Yes, we realize that many of our covers and photos do not represent the average, everyday runner. However, as a runner, you know what it means to be a competitor. Runner’s World is also a competitor in a national-magazine marketplace where every other magazine uses models who are younger, more gorgeous, and more well-proportioned than anyone deserves to be. And, as a competitor, we have little choice but to try to match these other magazines. That’s what helps us stay in business so we can bring Runner’s World to readers like you every month.

Erm, competition? Last time I checked in Borders, there’s only one other national running magazine on the shelf, and it (Running Times, perhaps?) featured “everyday runners”, even if (from the website) they might be in a very different location, at least it’s actually a real runner, and looks genuine and unstaged.

The appeal in this country is surely to the vast bulk of runners who, I’d have thought, know what it’s like to run in adverse conditions. I can’t even imagine these unsweaty, perfectly tanned, smiling models know what a damn, cold, muddy and windy British running session is, much less use a different pose that doesn’t show off their abs.

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick, am supposed to embrace the models’ falseness in a yes-isn’t-it-wonderfully ironic sort of way? Nah. Can’t do it. I just think the covers suck.